The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook by Matt Dinniman

Author:Matt Dinniman [Dinniman, Matt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Satire
Publisher: Dandy House
Published: 2021-04-02T04:00:00+00:00

18

Bautista: Yeah, you’re a little late there, buddy. Can’t talk. The whole damn station is a city boss. We gathered about 400 people on the train, and when they went up the stairs, it swallowed the first twenty of them like it was eating Cheese Rings. We’re on the platform now fighting off its tongue and its minions. It belches and these walking mouth things pour out of it. They’re too strong. Waiting on the next train to escape. Don’t know what we’re going to do. Half of these guys sold their hats.

Carl: Holy shit. Be careful. You’re going to have to fight the Kravyad boss two stations down at 435 and try the employee portal exit. I’ll try to find out about them now. Keep me updated.

Bautista: Talk soon.

Geez, 400 people? That seemed like too many at one place at one time. A disaster waiting to happen.

I turned to Madison. “The Kravyad. Tell me about it. Now. Quickly.”

“Which one? We have a few dozen on shift right now.”

“Does it matter? Are they different?”

“Of course they’re different,” she said. “One of them is always whining he wants to go home to visit his girlfriend. Another is demanding hazard pay after getting stabbed by a crawler. She was highly offended as she’s not designated as a combatant. They’re just as different as you and your little hairy friend.”

“Not a combatant? So they’re not bosses?”

“Bosses? Hardly. They’re actually part of the human resources department.” Madison straightened, standing proudly. “They work directly under me. Part of management’s initiative to increase productivity.”

“Holy shit, lady. Start with the basics. What is a Kravyad? And do they attack people? Like the station mimics attack people?”

“Like I said, they’re part of a money-saving initiative. A very successful one, I might add. The conductors and porters are less likely to demand time off if they don’t remember their between-shift breaks. They end their shift, go into what we call a pre-production stupor, and they awaken ready for their next shift. They’re still quite dazed until the moment they get on the trains. And by then it’s too late to request time off. It has increased productivity by 35%. The Kravyad are responsible for maintaining this program.”

I refrained the urge to choke the woman out. All of this information about how they abused their workers was infuriating, terrifying, and painfully familiar, but it was also irrelevant. “But what are they? Are they wizards? Giant owls? Elves? Tell me what they look like and what sort of powers they have.”

She gave me an are-you-really-that-stupid? look. “Do you know what a naga is? They’re kinda like that. But blue and with six arms. They take their payment by getting to eat one or two dwarves a shift. It saves the company a lot of gold.”

“What kind of magic do they cast?”

“They hypnotize the dwarves and grapples getting off the train. They keep them around for eight to twelve hours depending on the lines attached to their station, and they send them through the portal when it’s almost time for their shift to start again.

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